Thursday, 6 November 2014

This and That

Well, been a long long time since my last post.

So many things have happened. There were ups and downs, laughters and cries.

I'm finally in my officially-called-adult age. Yes, people, I'm 17 now. Celebrated it a while ago in May. It was splendid. I had never imagined I would have a birthday party, since I had always refused to have one when my parents offered me to. But then, it all happened in a blink. I mulled over and finally came to a decision that I was going to invite loads of people to come to my party.
So well, the preparation was done in a short time, I could say. But then, it was satisfying. 131 out of 170 names invited came to the party. Thanks to my parents and the party organizers and some friends who have helped me to make it come true. Yay!

I'm a 12th grader now. That means I'm facing my national exam next year. I'm sure I'll pass, but what worries me the most is my grades. I got lots of 9 in my junior high certificate, and it seems like I'm going to have tons of 7 in high school. Yes people, I'm screwed *sigh*

I think I'm going to write more here. About my life. I don't really care about the content, I suppose. I'm going to make my blog a little diary of my life. Sorry. Gonna start to write regularly from now on.

I'm going to Bangkok this Saturday. Hope things will go as planned.


Wednesday, 4 December 2013

This is Life. Face It or Leave It.

Oh my, it's been exactly a year since my last post huh? I really have no idea to write. So this will just be a super short post, or maybe sharing hehe.

I used to ask my parents everything I want. I didn't really care about pricing, or anything. All I wanted was my wish needed to be granted.
Then, I realized that I need to change my habbit. I started to understand that my parents struggle very hard to give what me and my brother want. They want the best for us, even though it's hard for them to fulfil our needs. It somehow tickled my heart. Do I want to keep my parents like that? They work incredibly hard just to make their children happy? Or do I want to change?

I decided to change. I started to make a living by opening an online shop. It was tough at first. But I'm used to it now :)
Of course it's not that easy to sell things. At the beginning, some of my customers complained about the service, the stuffs. My suppliers seemed like they didn't want to take any responsible. But I won't improve myself without having these bitter things huh? :)
Now I've had some money to keep myself. It's not very much, but at least I've tried eh? And now I can feel how hard it is for my parents to work under pressure to get enough money for their children. And now I don't really ask them to buy the things I want, which is sometimes way out of their budget. Good thing, isn't it? And this also means that I don't need to ask my parents to give me more money for my cheerleading competition. Oh how nice!

So here are some of the real pictures of the previous preorder stuffs at my online shop. Final exams has finally ended. That means I've got plenty of time to continue my business again at my leisure time. Go check it at Instagram : @sweetscarlet_shop . Wish me luck! ;) 


Monday, 4 November 2013

Surabaya Sparkling Tourism Fiesta 2013

Yeah, that's the name of the competition I attended last week. More specific : Miss Sparkling 2013. It's been held 2 times, once in a year. I didn't attend the first one because I wasn't really confident with myself that time. And because of this competition, I gained so much experience and more confidence. It gave me a lot of things to learn. How to speak in public properly, how to act like a lady, and even how to hide your real feelings. Hihi.

So I don't think the show went through very well. The comittees weren't really ready. Everything was like in a hurry.

There were about 50 girls or less at the first round, and then they chose 20 girls to go to the next round. In the first round, we need to write our innovation towards our city, so that it can develop more and more and more people are attracted to come here. At the second round,We were asked to give a special performance to show our talent, and also promote our beloved city, Surabaya. I didn't do really well in the talent show. I misspelled some words and I wasn't really fluent. I did an english speech, fyi. I didn't really expect to get into the BIG10 since I knew that the others were indeed better than me. But I got chosen anyway. It was my first time entering a competition like that, so it really did surprised me. And I continued to the BIG5 too, but no more to expect. I didn't pass it to get into the BIG3. But still, I'm totally grateful. It's been really an honour for me to be in the BIG5, since I've got ZERO experiences about the modelling world.

Please mind my weird poses >.<
And also I don't know why the pictures turned to be so bad and blurry. The resolution of the pics were fine, seriously :s does anyone know why?

I'm writing this post on my iPod anyway. Does it affect very much on the pics resolutions? How to change the size to medium, large, etc? I would be really grateful if you answered! Thankyou! :)


Saturday, 19 October 2013

That Sweetest Little Things

I'm having a semifinal for a modelling competition next week. I didn't really expect to get there actually, but I did chosen as a semifinalist. And this is my first time going to a modelling competition, so yesss, I'm sooooo excited yet nervous at the same time. I have to struggle really hard to win. But the time given is just too little. I'm having a camping for 3 days long, and that's quite taking my chances. I need to prepare so many things. Beside a talent show, I must present the tourism object in my city too. I have to 'pack' them in a good and innovative way so the audience won't get bored. For the talent show, I'm planning to do a speech. An English speech. But my senior, who lives in United States now as a university student, doesn't really suggest it. He said that it would be quite awkward to speak around 8 minutes, even though it would be presented with different languages. English and Indonesian. He asked me to do something that related to our culture. Well, actually that was my first plan. But due to the limited time I have, that would be impossible. I'm having an english speech contest too in November, and I haven't prepared anything for it. What should I do? :(

Beside my nerves and anxiety that keep haunting me, I also have some fear of being underestimated by other people. Especially my friends who weren't really close to me. They know me as an ignorant person. And I was quite fat back then. I'm so afraid that they would underestimate me, even though I've changed. I wish I could win this competition though, so I can show the world that I'm able to do something useful, and I'm still as good as I used to be, but have changed my bad habits :)

Went to the Korea Winter Travel Fair 2013 tonite with my family. I met the Delicious Musical Bibap. They were freakin' amazing! I wish I could see them performing again tomorrow, and take better pictures with them, since today's pics were quite disappointing and blurry *sigh*
One of the members really looked like Kim Jongkook anyway! He was so cute yet handsomee xD so happy to meet him! >.<

Good night! ;)


Sunday, 13 October 2013


I think I will be posting regularly from now on, since I have my iPod to post something in my blog without opening my lagging yet stimulating people to be angry laptop. Maybe I will start posting about my daily activites, how I feel about something, etc. I hope you won't feel bothered. :)

And yeah, my blog is nesting. I'm thinking of moving to a new blog, what do you think?

So, jealousy. Simple one word which can make people change. From bad to good, or maybe good to bad. And I'm having it right now.
I'm jealous of my friends who are smarter than me. I'm jealous of my friends who don't easily get panic when something unexpected happen. I'm jealous of my buddies who are able to do anything amazingly. I'm jealous of my sister who has lots of friends and gets attention from people because she's so cheerful. I'm jealous of the people who have pretty faces and seem-to-be-nice lifes. I'm jealous of almost everything and every people in this world. Ironic? Indeed.

Does jealousy give any goods? Maybe. But mostly, bad. Do I change to a bad person? I don't know. I would feel down whenever I saw or remembered about the people I got jealous of. And that somehow made me to a very introverted person. It affected on how I acted and responded to people. I had always thought than I was the worst girl existed in this world. I had always acted that all I could do was nothing. I had always avoided to socialize with people who I thought were better than me. I looked down on myself. I was afraid of being something even though I wanted to. And then I became a not-very-nice person. I had always thought in negative way. I didn't really have many friends back then. I felt lonely. And it was killing me slowly.
When I told about this to my friend who accused himself as the male version of myself, he told me the words. The precious words.

"The greatest discovery of all time is, that people can change their future merely by changing their attitude" - Oprah Winfrey

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

And then those words magically woke me up. I started to change my attitude. I tried not to be so introverted. I tried to think in positive way. And it works.
I've got new friends and acquitances. I'm not as quiet as I used to be. I'm getting better, and that somehow relieved me.

I want to be a person who is useful for every people in this world. I want to participate in every single thing happens. I don't wanna be passive, I wanna be active. I want to be a multitalented person.
I want and I'm sure that I will become a better person and be who I want to be.